What God has brought together no man shall separate.

October is drawing near and that means that it will make mine and Cody's 3year anniversary. Wow! I never imagined we would make it this far. Not that I had doubts about our marriage ,but because marriage is hard and so easily given up on now days. In the last three years Cody and I have been through a lot. We bought our first home , which was not the joyous process I dreamed it up to be. We suffered the loss of three babies, we had a sick child and when our sick child was two months old we were shocked with a positive pregnancy test! It could have been so easy to give up when our world around us crumbled. At times it even seemed as though the world around us was against us. Statistics say that out of every two marriages one will not make it. I have never wanted to be a statistic. It's very sad to me to see so many broken homes. I know some things happen in marriages that is hard to get past , but then I see marriages that nobody is willing to fight for. Marriage is a full time job. It's a full time job that takes a lot of commitment . When I sad my vows I not only made a promise to Cody that I would never leave I made a promise to God. Not only do I not want to break my promise to Cody I don't want to break my promise to God. Our marriage is not taken lightly. It's has been one of the hardest things I have ever had to work at. Cody and I are literally like oil and water. We have absolutely nothing in common. We do not think alike and we definitely do not act alike. We fight , but we also makeup. I think every good marriage fights. I love when I hear people say we never fight. I would love for someone to tell me how in the world do you live under the same roof as someone for 365 days out of the year and you do not disagree not once.hmmmmmm...... Not true isn't happening let's be real every good marriage has a good fight every once in awhile. I am here to tell you some of you would love to be a fly on the wall in my house. Sometimes we fight over the dumbest things , but hey it's keep us on our toes and there is never a dull moment. Ever since Cody and I met we have had to work for our relationship. It hasn't come easily. But it makes me love him even more. We don't always understand each other , buti know I don't want to put up with anyone else ,but him for the rest of my life. The hardest thing in my marriage so far was the fact that John-Michael was so sick as a new baby. It put so much stress on Cody and I. I am an emotional person as it is where as Cody shows no emotion(he's kind of dry):) so it was very hard to deal with my emotions because I think everyone should be emotional. It took us having a sick baby to re-evaluate our marriage. We had to go all the way back to October 3,2009 when we made a vow to stay together through thick and thin. We went back to what the scripture says and had to rearrange who we put first second and last. We should as scripture says put God first , then your husband or wife, then your children. Every marriage needs God. I know that is why half of the marriages now do not work. People and society have completely thrown God and the Bible out of their lives. When society started throwing Jesus out the window the world began to crumble. Keep in mind before you say "I DO" that you say it for the right reasons and not just for the flashy ring and wedding. Don't rush it. And work hard at it every single day. Remember that you make a vow to your spouse and God. And until you sign on the dotted line you are still in Gods eyes legally married and bound to that person. Do not take marriage lightly. And work on it before you decide to give up on it. People can change and we all must forgive.

Angel kisses!

As I sit and stare at john-Michael I wonder why God thought I was worthy enough to handle one of his most precious gifts. I can not explain to you the joy he has brought to my life. He has only been in my life for eight weeks , but I can not seem to remember what life was like before him! From the minute he entered this world I gave him my everything. I can honestly say that I am ok with giving up everything I used to know and all of my selfishness to give him everything and every bit of me everyday! I catch myself during the day saying I love you so many times I lose count. For every smile he cracks you can guarantee there will be a tear of joy roll down my face. I know that without a doubt everytime john-Michael is sleeping and I see him smile or grin its because OUR three angels are tickling him. I thank God everyday for my husband,parents,sisters,brothers,niece's,and JM!! They are amazing and so helpful to my little family! I never knew how beautiful life could be. I can not wait to fill our house with babies! As crazy as it seems I am ready for my next baby! It's amazing that we as humans make mistakes all the time ,but there is one thing we are capable of doing that will never be considered a mistake and that is to make a life! No matter what the circumstances bringing a life into this world will NEVER be a mistake! We are all miracles!I now know what it feels like to be able to say that without a doubt I would lay my life down for JM and I will fight for him tooth and nail! He is my life and my world . He has made me see his daddy in a whole new light! I never imagines we could love something so much! I had no idea my heart could love so powerfully! I pray that everyone gets to feel the joy I am feeling. Until next time God bless!

answered prayers!

On December 5, 2011 at 8:43 after 16 hrs of labor Dr. Dickerson held up my 7lb 11 oz miracle! I know people say that love at first sight is not real ,but for a mother its so real. I never knew I could love someone as much as I love john-Michael. It is such a powerful love , a love you would do anything for! Cody and I would have to pass over a few hurdles before we could get our little family home and settled. In the hospital we learned JM had a heart murmur. A heart murmur is a noise that is made by blood passing through a hole. A hole in your heart. The dr told us it was nothing to worry about. Little did he know! When we made it home we took JM to Dr. Talbot for his jaundice and murmur. We had no idea that his murmur would be a.blessing in disguise . Dr. Talbot assured us that murmur were normal ,but that she would like us to have a cardiologist check him out. On December 22nd I had my first heart wrenching mother experience. When we got to the office they hooked him up to the ekg machine as a normal procedure . We were then escorted into a ultra sound room so they could look at his heart. Cody and I were so naive the whole time. When the doctor came in and started talking I knew we were in for a shock. He began to tell us of JMs extra electrical shock and his abnormal heart rhythm. At that point the hole in his heart was the least of our worries. Everyone has a shock in their heart its what makes it beat, but when you have an extra shock your heart beats extremely fast. And having a uneven rhythm goes hand in hand with the racing heart. He began to put wires on JM and explained that we would leave this monitor on for a full 24hrs. It took everything inside of me not to break down and lose it right there. After the miscarriages and finding out I was pregnant with JM I always thought that I had been through enough and JM would be perfectly healthy. It never crosses your mind that something could be wrong with your angel. When the door of the drs office shut and we began to walk to the car I broke down. I cried the whole way home and everytime I changed his clothes and had to face the wires attached to my angel, my perfect angel, I cried! Cody and I had no idea that this was just a start of what the next month would.be like. As Christmas eve drew near we were so excited. Our Christmas miracle would be baby Jesus at church! But JM had oother plans in mind. Saturday morning I noticed him coughing and spitting up bottles. I did not want to over react so I called our drs offices nurse line. As I explain his symptoms the nurse urges us to go to the ER. I thought to myself come on please just give us a break in life please! So we took him in and of course I am a basket case when they inform me my child has RSV and will be admitted! They monitored JM all night. In a million years I never thought we would have stayed his first Christmas in the hospital. The next day the Dr came in and told us four words I pray I will never hear again. He told us if we took him home and did not suction him right that he"would not make it". I couldn't believe what I had just heard. At that point I knew how.serious this was. The nurse came in and taught us how to suction him and ten minutes later we were headed home for Christmas . Two days later I got a call from his cardiologist that JM needed to.start his heart meds that night and that they needed.to see him first thing in the morning. When they reviewed his.monitor they saw that JM had went in and out of episodes where his heart raced. At one point his heart rate was 360!!!!! Normal for a male baby is 140!!! It had already been a long.day of JM getting worse with the RSV and to top it off I get a call like that. As the night went on JM became so sick.I was sca4to death. I rushed him to Dr. Talbot and I knew it was back to the ER for us because she was even worried. This time we stayed for five nights. The kept him on oxygen and fluids. I never imagined I would not even be able to enjoy my baby the first month. The first month was filled with more tears than laughter. While in the hospital JM was baptized by Father. Not how we planned it but we knew if anything were to happen to our baby we would want him to be baptized. Life can slip right from your hands in the blink of an eye. Now that we finally have jm home we will continue to monitor his heart and check up with the Dr every two weeks. We are so blessed to have JM. He is the most precious example of life. I will never be able to explain the love I feel for him! I am thankful for all the prayers. They are what got me through.